Sunday, December 14, 2008

World Spins Madly on..

So we have been here in Georgetown, Texas for 15 months now. I am now past the first year. The 'hard' transition part. But I am still not feeling it.
Moving is not something new to us. I am used to it. We consider each move an adventure. Life is what you make it... right? I keep telling myself that.
We have a great family- a sweet house- an incredibly family friendly job, we are healthy yet... I still feel the need to complain. What is my problem? just not feeling it here. Where is the love man?
I miss U.P. sooo much. I miss everything I didn't like about it , everything and everyone else!
This week another friend moved away.
Arizona bound. I took our friendship and her proximity for granted. I am sadder each day knowing I wont see her this week. She also had 5 children- ages and genders matching our children. She also had a husband that is an MD. She is an incredible person that is honest and loyal. I am kicking myself for not being more proactive in facilitating more get togethers. Back to square one out here.
One of my closest friends of all time- Jennie Martinez (in U.P.)- was my balance. She knew if given a choice of getting things done around the house or going out with my girlfriends I wouldn't go out- I would stay home and whine about my plate being too full- She would come over with a game plan and whisk me away. She organized a girls vacation to Hawaii. I never would have done that without her. She constantly was doing things to include people in gatherings and making sure everyone felt her sisterly love. She never complained.
Our ward out here is... different.
I am in the Primary Presidency again. Love the kids, love the rest of the presidency and it really isn't that stressful, yet I feel out of the mix with the rest of the ward.
I have 2 friends I really like in the ward. Unfortunately they both work. Fortunately for them it is at the same place. They are best friends. Their families go on vaca together. Although we do a lot together and I know if I put a little more effort into the friendship we would do even more, I will always kinda be the third wheel. No fault of theirs, they always include me but...Just not feeling it. I need a Jennie Martinez out here! I miss her!
I need a Becki Blackner.
Becki is the improved version of me. Same hobbies, Same dislikes, We love to cook, we love cute little things, we love to shop in antique type shoppes. She is wonderfully creative and I fancy myself as being a touch creative. We love to travel- Paris! England! Seaside! We love to read, We are BOTH loud at soccer/baseball/basketball games cheering for our girls and boys. Books... the list goes on. Our differences-She doesn't drink diet coke or any soda for that matter, she would never cuss at a horrible driver and she is far more scheduled/organized than I am. She is a petite blonde with blue eyes- I am 5'7" brunette w/ brown eyes- Salt and pepper there. I miss her.
I miss...
Our cul de sac in U.P.! We had it made! The Kings! Jacqueline and Marcel have children that match up with ours in ages, Keza the oldest, Hunters best friend. They talked about everything at all hours of the night. So well behaved- always a pleasure having around. You always wanted them around! I could walk into their house and feel at home, anytime. My talks with Jacqueline, Christmas Eve together, The kids ringing in the new year loud and proud in the cul de sac. Rachel and Quinci organizing a neighborhood Olympics! They handed out flyers at school! The Shaws! Little Cole visiting. Katy playing with Jordan and Rachel- making them feel so special. Denise... I want to be Denise. Rahul- Coles sidekick. Rahul was at the house for dinner more than Doug. The Arringtons! Julie, Debbie, Miriam, Sherida, Melody, Melanie, Jackie B., Lori, our entire luncheon group, FAB bookclub, All the wonderful Sunset girls- Tamara, Nicole, Tiffany, Tami and Eric Anderson Terri and the girls. I could keep on going and going! Do you see why I miss it soo much?
Why can't I move on and find my new 'cul de sac' a Jmar or a Becki. I have tried to get people to do a luncheon group- nobody is interested. They think it sounds like too much work. We have an older ward. We have Sun City in our boundaries. That is an active living adult community- 55 and older. Lots of wealthy retirees that are done with people in their 20's and 30's. Been there and done that and are moving on. That really limits your buddies in a small ward.
Doug and I are throwing around the idea of moving back to Europe for a few years- Germany this time. Screw our heads on again and enjoy the travel with our family and the schooling for the children. Many Pro's yet many Con's with Hunter and Cole getting ready for college...
I am not miserable. I do not cry myself to sleep. I am merely complaining that my plate isn't full enough. I just need to get over myself and get out there.
Thanks for listening through my self realization blogging. I just wish I could wave a wand and have all my friends here.
Today it was 71 degrees and beautiful- clear skies.
Looking onto new horizons.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Recently I have been painfully aware of some close friends being effected by things out of their control.
Job Loss, Divorce, Cancer...
Many prayer have been said from our household- I often wonder why? What is the reason behind these ordeals- why them?
I have a testimony of Jesus Christ, his love for each of us and of the Plan of Salvation that Jesus sacrificed so much for- My testimony has been strengthened as I am humbled by the amazing spirit of my friends. I made a comment to the husband of my friend who is plagued with cancer. I said it was unfair- He kindly put me in my place. Telling me it was fair. it happens. Through their ordeal he knew their love only was growing stronger, He knew they were doing all they could and they knew that through their ordeal scientists and doctors would learn more to help others... They also knew whatever the outcome this time- thy will be done... No matter what happens, they will be together for eternity. They have children who are grown and married, they have grandchildren. They are active and giving of their time and talents at church. "Don't feel sorry for us- we have an amazing life filled with love and purpose"
Such amazing and insightful wisdom. Knowing our purpose here makes a world of difference as to how we handle our challenges.